There is something about exhausting the body that is good for the frustrated soul. When life gets a little too big to handle on the inside, I just need to get dirty and worn out. Mud, sweat, dust, blood...whatever reeks of adventure and challenge.
Ergo, my bike ride today (the pic is actually from a different ride). I did not go out there for a little mundane exercise, a lap around the park. I wanted to be sucking wind like a hoover on some impossible incline, dodging branches and sliding in the dirt. This is a frustration ride, folks. It has nothing to do with fitness and everything to do with exertion.
I immediately chose a trail I had never tried before (those I have sampled have not been worthy of a frustration ride), and it turned out to be a gem. Up and up and up and up...the sucking wind part was taken care of pretty quickly. As it turned out, the trail also provided a wonderful opportunity to employ the This-Is-Nuts-O-Meter. With the sucking of the wind came the "What am I Doing?" reading, followed by a "This Might Not be a Good Idea" when the ruts got really big. When the rocks began, the meter eased into "Nope, Definitely not a Good Idea." Finally, when the rocks got bigger, were situated on a steep slope, and the trail was a bit loose, things topped out at a reading of, "Maybe I Should Have Written a Will Before Leaving the House." That was where frustration encountered reason, and I finally turned back.
On the way back down that glorious trail, I stopped and sat on one of the huge rock formations surrounding me. Perched high on a sandstone ridge, looking out at a snow-capped Pike's Peak, I read my Bible in the fall sun. The exhaustion had done the trick. For the first time in a while, I was tired enough to rest, worn out enough to just sit and listen. And that's what the Father wants from me: "In repentance and rest is your salvation; in quietness and trust is your strength."
Right now, I need to sit before him in restful repentance, and in quiet trust. I need to make that the posture of my heart and life. Sometimes it just a takes a mountain bike and little wind-sucking to get me there.
2 comments:
Don't you love free therapy? You didn't mention the canned spinach that keeps you going strong on that bike, and up late at night...
I was browsing old posts just to find something to comment on. High five for the rambling explanation of what labels do. Since I am basically looking at blogging as an exciting means of of photo journalling it will help me categorize my (mis)adventures and thus make them easier to find and look back on.
I got some free therapy one time on a new trail - out for a late spring "evening" ride with just a powerbar a headlight, my saddlebag, and my roomies dog. As it turned out by the time I got home I had thought some of those interesting thoughts too... Like "this trail sucks" then many mud bogs and log crossings later, "it must get better, if I keep going its got to get better, I dont want to reverse all that horrible stuff". After the 4th or 5th snowdrift I was thinking the Lake must be just around the corner. Then there were all kind of spur trails (not on the map) and the thought "I've got to find the lake before dark or I'm screwed" followed by more snowdrifts and "I wonder if I'll survive this" followed by thoughts of eating my roommates dog or at least cutting open her carcass for warmth. Thankfully just at dust I crested the divide that led me to the lake. I had skiied the trail in the winter. I knew where I was going - or so I thought. The trail was washboards on top of rocks with bushes growing on them, hardly the enjoyable "downhill all the way from the lake" I was expecting. Thouroughly relieved to reach my vehicle I discovered I had left my lights on and the battery was dead. So I pushed it down the road and tried to pop the clutch a couple times but the battery was too dead and the road not steep enough. I would have slept in the rig but alas, no emergency clothing or sleeping bag. With the rig pushed into the ditch, Jordan and I tacked on another 8 miles to our evening outing and call it good at 4am. Jordan did not move much the next day - nor did I...
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