Something in my heart was at rest as I walked the base camp shoreline alone, taking a moment of quiet before boarding a boat and heading home. My short prayer was mainly made up of saying thank you to God for all he had done. Soon we gathered near the dock, said our goodbyes to Aly, and stepped onto the boat that would take us to Malibu Club and then back to Egmont. Our time at the Club was sweet, sitting and talking over coffee. It was the final pause before the crazy journey home.
I returned knowing something had changed in me. I had entered the week expecting to offer wisdom to some teenagers and see some beautiful sights. I had not expected to be affected in ways that ran so much deeper. It wasn’t until a day or so later that I thought back to the hope I had voiced at the beginning of the week—to walk away with a renewed sense of who I am—and I wondered how God might have answered that prayer. I realized then that he had done so in ways that exceeded what I could have anticipated or hoped for.
My time in Canada had allowed me to get reacquainted with myself, to see myself from so many different angles. I had been reminded of who I am as a mentor and minister, sharing life with teenagers for a week. I had seen who I am as a colleague, working alongside my fellow leaders. I had glimpsed myself as a friend and peer, surprised by Aly’s friendship. I had looked into my own story and love for the Word. Thanks to the rain, I had been given a chance to see who I am when trials test my mental and physical fortitude. And perhaps most uniquely, I had see who I am in the face of one who shares much of my heart, and had been granted the chance to realize how much I enjoyed her.
Of course, the view was not all roses. But the petal to thorn ratio with which I had been viewing myself for the last several months was proved to be radically skewed. I pray now that I can take that vision home and cling tightly to the one who granted it. I end these entries with the Scripture that nourished my soul as I walked through the wilderness of British Columbia. It is my prayer for myself, and for all who will read it here.
"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."